_la tahzan..

in the name of Allah..

assalamualaikum..

hari ni, result final semester 5 dah keluar..terpaku sejenak..Allah, ujian-Mu sungguh menggugat hatiku T_T

-sadness upon me-

***

bersyukurlah baya!

***

sayu..ntahlah..sini bukan tempat melepaskan keluhan, tapi membebaskan rasa di jiwa.huhu..boleh ka?

haa...cuti sudah mendekat..dan saya masih tidak berganjak..tidak tahu ingin berbuat apa..huhu elaun pun belum lagi masuk2..Allah..ujian2..Allah lebih tahu apa yang terbaik untukmu baya!

:D

tadi..call imran n surady..permata hati saya, anak-anak emas saya..walaupun bukan 'keluar' dari diri saya, namun kami berkongsi kehidupan dengan lebih indah semenjak kelahiran mereka di dunia ni (maksudnya saya dah tua ke?huhu)

tension enough?

keserabutan yang melanda di jiwa semakin terusai.alhamdulillah.Allah bagi tenang..mendengar suara mereka yang selamba (tapi cheQ tau depa rindu gegila kat cheQ! :P)

memula tuh memang call bapa..xberani mau pass report dekat big boss.huhu dah tau diri x sehebat mana..malu nak mengaku lagi? cobaan..huhu

monologs..again

"dear beloved father,

assalamualaikum..

maybe i'm not a good daughter. i'm not as good as others' daughter. but i've tried my very best to achieve something, just to make you and myself proud. but i failed. i am really sorry..i couldn't tell you, even you'll say 'it's fine'. because i have to try hard, again. then, it would be something. i know i am not as brilliant as other's kids, but i will try to be your brilliant little girl. i am sorry bapa, I LOVE YOU.

your daughter,baya."

fine, bapa saya belikan henpon baru untuk adik-adik..saya jeles..hahaha.. :P

...

shall i say i am not pretending to be happy? because i'm not, even the sad mode overheated in the brain just now...haa....

i have to delete (permanently) all those negative things in my mind, i know i should have done that.inshaAllah..don't be sad, Allah is there for you baya :)

inshaAllah

wassalam